30 March 2011

A Few Ramifications of a Bulging Belly

Fitting in normal-sized spaces.
I can no longer sit so close to the table... or desk or exercise equipment pad for that matter.  This is fine because I'm forced to be more mindful of my posture. It's not so fine because sometimes I'm concentrating so deeply on whatever task is in front of me that I blink and realize my back has practically folded over... Wowzers!

On a related note, sometimes we eat dinner in front of the TV. On these occasions, my preference is to sit on the floor and use the coffee table as the dinner table.  Getting up and down without tipping our fancy table has become a verifiable challenge. As a result, I've decided to institute a rule: no eating in front of the TV.  This rule will surely change when the belly is big enough to serve as a table << who am I kidding- the boobs can already do that >>.
It is no longer so easy to squeeze myself between the front
of the couch and this pretty little table. Oh well...
Bump Variations.
When I stand up for a long period of time, the pouch pooches out.  It causes the effect of showing a little bit in the morning << thanks to glorious back sleeping >> to showing a lot more by the end of the day.  I promise the runt isn't growing so noticeably from morning to night.

I'm happy to report  the other night we had a work event where I stood up for 4+ hours. And guess what! Drumroll please.... I didn't have cankles when it was all said and done! That's something to celebrate right?!?
Cankle: A thick ankle, particularly
one that appears to be a continuation of the calf
And Crying.
I can cry at the drop of a hat.  Sort of like my bionic nose, it's kind of like a super-power.  Sappy love songs, cheesy commercials, emotionally manipulative movies....  if there's any inclusion of parents and children, I'm a gonner.

There are even a few hormone-induced tear jerkers that might surprise you. Take Lady Gaga's song, "Born This Way.  Not typically one to get you all teary-eyed, right?  When it's on the radio, I have this funny combination of passionate sing-along and on-the-edge-of-bursting-into-tears experience. This particular part of the song gets me every time.
Don't be a drag, just be a queen 
Whether you're broke or evergreen 
You're black, white, beige, chola descent 
You're lebanese, you're orient 
Whether life's disabilities 
Left you outcast, bullied or teased 
Rejoice and love yourself today 
'Cause baby, you were born this way 

No matter gay, straight or bi 
lesbian, transgendered life 
I'm on the right track, baby 
I was born to survive 
No matter black, white or beige 
chola or orient made 
I'm on the right track, baby 
I was born to be brave
Thank God for boxes and travel packs of Kleenex and a very understanding husband.

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