06 May 2011

What Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman_Part 1

Let me be clear: this is a list of what not to EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE say to a pregnant woman, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD << yes, I'm SHOUTING WHEN I'M IN ALL CAPS >>.

1. You're looking plump.
- Since when is the word "plump" complimentary? Seriously.  How about something like, "Look at your round belly!" or simply keeping your mouth shut?

2. Maybe the guys hitting on you from their passing hooptie thought you were a prostitute.
- Oh. Em. Geeeeeeeeeee.  Seriously?  What part of this comment is EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE appropriate to say to a woman, regardless of whether or not she's pregnant?  I don't have an alternative suggestion because there's just no reason to substitute something else for this. FILTERS, PEOPLE. Put your filters on when you're around hyper-sensitive, progesterone-poisoned preggsters.

3. I didn't recognize you since you've filled out.
- A kind alternative to this statement might be, "It's been a while! It's good to see you."  Do not EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE point out to a pregnant woman that she has "filled out," even when she has the sweetest little 10-fingers, 10-toes reason to have grown in the first place.  THIS IS THE ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE, PEOPLE, WHERE WE SHOULD CELEBRATE WEIGHT GAIN.  It's new life we're talking about.  I'm growing a baby. Filling out is part of the gig.  Back off.

That's all for this week. Stay tuned! I'm sure folks will continue to fuel many more parts to this particular blog topic.

3 comments:

  1. You have got to be kidding! I hope no one really had the nerve to say those thoughtless things to you!I am sure you are as cute and adorable as ever!

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  2. Kim, I couldn't make this stuff up if I TRIED! That's why it goes on the blog- it's worth remembering, sharing, laughing, and/or commiserating over (depending on how hijacked my hormones are at any given moment). Thanks for reading!

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  3. You brighten my life! Thanks for sharing--I especially love how your tone of voice and attitude read loud & clear :)

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