My capacity to process emotions is officially on the fritz.
Example 1. There's no more food.
I arrived to church on a Wednesday night about 15 minutes after the start time for dinner. THERE WAS NO FOOD LEFT. Okay, there was a bowl of corn, a bowl of mixed greens, a variety of salad dressings, and some garlic bread. I dropped my fiver in the plate and subsequently watched as quick hands snatched up the last 4 slices of pizza that I had been hedging over a willingness to eat in the first place.
I just about burst into tears.
I wasn't *starving* at that point. I had an hour, at most, before I would be. It officially became hard to see straight. Pretty ridiculous, right? There are pregnant women all over the world who don't get adequate nutrition. I ought to just suck it up when I have to wait an extra half hour to eat. Sheesh.
Example 2. She just fell down (up).
I had 3 letters in my left hand, my purse was on my left shoulder, and I was making my way up the stairs at work to put the envelopes through the postage machine. Three steps from the top I tumbled forward << Thank God it wasn't backwards >>. I landed on my legs, and it startled me. One of my co-workers was at the top of the stairs, and there were 2 volunteers at the bottom of the stairs. The downstairs group gasped audibly. The upstairs chick mumbled something about center of balance being thrown off, or else she said something about carrying extra weight being a challenge... Either way, I was mortified. I landed on my legs, and it startled me. I was paying attention. I was climbing stairs normally. I was wearing sandals that were well-attached to my feet.
There's no reasonable explanation for the tumble. I felt extremely embarrassed and a little upset that NO ONE said, "Jess, are you okay?" So I franked the envelopes and went to the post office, driving there all the while teetering between bursting into fits of laughter or tears. Seriously.
Example 3. She was listening to her favorite song. Seriously.
So my current favorite song is "Stand Up" by Sugarland. There's this one part where it's just Jennifer and Kristian singing (all the music fades), and for me it's powerful the way they harmonize the lyric, "Won’t you stand up/ Stand Up/ Stand Up/ Won’t you stand up you girls and boys?" Literally, it gets me every time. This song came onto my radar after I got knocked up, so I can't say whether or not this is a common reaction that I'm having to the song, or if it's progesterone induced. Either way, it's kind of lame how I get teary-eyed and choked up EVERY time I hear this song.
To give you an idea of how ludicrous it is to get emotionally wound up over it, here are the lyrics:
Example 4. Did you write your thank you note?
I was raised in the old school where you hand write a thank you note, stamp it, and snail mail it to your gift-giver. Period. No exceptions. I'm proud to say I've been on my A-Game since the attention, favors, and gifts started pouring in.
Lots of folks will tell you that when you're pregnant, your short-term memory fades. They're not lying. A couple weeks ago a gift card arrived in the mail from one of my aunts. .. talk about thoughtful and generous! Specific instructions read, "Buy something for yourself!" I can totally appreciate that. So I wrote the thank you note, hung onto it for a day until I was able to get to the post office to buy stamps, and subsequently dropped the note in to the mail... I think << I have a very clear, cognizant memory of writing the note and stamping the note. Mailing the note is fuzzy because I handled a lot of mailings last week >> .
So my mom calls last night and said my aunt is wondering if we got their gift card. I toed the edge of turning into a monster at that very moment. As my father-in-law would say, !Casi me volvi mona! I held it together enough to not snap off my mom's head through the phone... barely. I did, however, explain to her my recollections, and I got off the phone quickly because my fuse was getting shorter and shorter.
In theory, that particular conversation should not have gotten me riled up even slightly. But it did, and in a big way no less. It's absurd how upset I was. I blame all this silly progesterone for my reactions, and I'll say it again: My Emotion Processor Needs a Re-Boot.
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| This is a processor. I think. What do I know about computers? |
I arrived to church on a Wednesday night about 15 minutes after the start time for dinner. THERE WAS NO FOOD LEFT. Okay, there was a bowl of corn, a bowl of mixed greens, a variety of salad dressings, and some garlic bread. I dropped my fiver in the plate and subsequently watched as quick hands snatched up the last 4 slices of pizza that I had been hedging over a willingness to eat in the first place.
I just about burst into tears.
I wasn't *starving* at that point. I had an hour, at most, before I would be. It officially became hard to see straight. Pretty ridiculous, right? There are pregnant women all over the world who don't get adequate nutrition. I ought to just suck it up when I have to wait an extra half hour to eat. Sheesh.
Example 2. She just fell down (up).
I had 3 letters in my left hand, my purse was on my left shoulder, and I was making my way up the stairs at work to put the envelopes through the postage machine. Three steps from the top I tumbled forward << Thank God it wasn't backwards >>. I landed on my legs, and it startled me. One of my co-workers was at the top of the stairs, and there were 2 volunteers at the bottom of the stairs. The downstairs group gasped audibly. The upstairs chick mumbled something about center of balance being thrown off, or else she said something about carrying extra weight being a challenge... Either way, I was mortified. I landed on my legs, and it startled me. I was paying attention. I was climbing stairs normally. I was wearing sandals that were well-attached to my feet.
There's no reasonable explanation for the tumble. I felt extremely embarrassed and a little upset that NO ONE said, "Jess, are you okay?" So I franked the envelopes and went to the post office, driving there all the while teetering between bursting into fits of laughter or tears. Seriously.
Example 3. She was listening to her favorite song. Seriously.
So my current favorite song is "Stand Up" by Sugarland. There's this one part where it's just Jennifer and Kristian singing (all the music fades), and for me it's powerful the way they harmonize the lyric, "Won’t you stand up/ Stand Up/ Stand Up/ Won’t you stand up you girls and boys?" Literally, it gets me every time. This song came onto my radar after I got knocked up, so I can't say whether or not this is a common reaction that I'm having to the song, or if it's progesterone induced. Either way, it's kind of lame how I get teary-eyed and choked up EVERY time I hear this song.
To give you an idea of how ludicrous it is to get emotionally wound up over it, here are the lyrics:
All the lonely people cryin’
It could change if we just get started
Life the darkness, light a fire
For the silent and the broken hearted
Won’t you stand up
Stand Up
Stand Up
Won’t you stand up you girls and boys?
Won’t you stand up
Stand Up
Stand Up
Won’t you stand up and use your voice?
There’s a comfort
There’s healing
High above the pain and sorrow
Change is coming
Can you feel it?
Calling us into a new tomorrow
Won’t you stand up
Stand Up
Stand Up
Won’t you stand up you girls and boys?
Won’t you stand up
Stand Up
Stand Up
Won’t you stand up and use your voice?
When the walls fall all around you
When your hope has turned to dust
Let the sound of love surround you
Beat like a heart in each of us
Won’t you stand up
Stand Up
Stand Up
Won’t you stand up you girls and boys?
Won’t you stand up
Stand Up
Stand Up
Won’t you stand up and use your voice?
Example 4. Did you write your thank you note?
I was raised in the old school where you hand write a thank you note, stamp it, and snail mail it to your gift-giver. Period. No exceptions. I'm proud to say I've been on my A-Game since the attention, favors, and gifts started pouring in.
Lots of folks will tell you that when you're pregnant, your short-term memory fades. They're not lying. A couple weeks ago a gift card arrived in the mail from one of my aunts. .. talk about thoughtful and generous! Specific instructions read, "Buy something for yourself!" I can totally appreciate that. So I wrote the thank you note, hung onto it for a day until I was able to get to the post office to buy stamps, and subsequently dropped the note in to the mail... I think << I have a very clear, cognizant memory of writing the note and stamping the note. Mailing the note is fuzzy because I handled a lot of mailings last week >> .
So my mom calls last night and said my aunt is wondering if we got their gift card. I toed the edge of turning into a monster at that very moment. As my father-in-law would say, !Casi me volvi mona! I held it together enough to not snap off my mom's head through the phone... barely. I did, however, explain to her my recollections, and I got off the phone quickly because my fuse was getting shorter and shorter.
In theory, that particular conversation should not have gotten me riled up even slightly. But it did, and in a big way no less. It's absurd how upset I was. I blame all this silly progesterone for my reactions, and I'll say it again: My Emotion Processor Needs a Re-Boot.
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