Baby Came In a Hospital, Part 2

Check out the previous post to orient yourself to this one...

It was D-Day and we arrived to the hospital at 5:15 am. They started the Pitocin right away, and contractions were coming full force by 7:15 am. It just so happens that our nurse on the 8a - 3p shift had worked as a doula at the birthing center for 5 years prior to going to work as a labor and delivery nurse in the hospital.  We *loved* her! She was on the exact same page as we were.  When I mentioned to the nurse how asking someone to run a marathon and telling them all they can eat is popsicles and ice chips to fuel their efforts is a little ridiculous, she agreed.  She agreed!  I went on to ask her, hypothetically of course, if a woman were to find herself in labor and were to eat a spoon of peanut butter and have some G2 for fuel if that would be a good choice. She hypothetically said yes. You know how I said at the end of this post  that despite our disappointment at not delivering baby at the birthing center that God showed up? I'm just sayin'...

Okay, back to labor... I had the best labor coaches in the world- the hubs and my sister Jules, with the occasional cameo from my mom.  The nurses were also great support, and one of the midwifes from the birthing center was in and out all day too.  I felt such support surrounding me and felt so well cared for that it was extraordinarily easy for me to be entirely focused internally on the process my body was going through.

If you've never had the experience, contractions offer a finite amount of pain as your body goes through the process of preparing to deliver a baby.  During each "rush," the whole point is to tolerate the pain until it passes. The actual pushing doesn't come until the very end.

Looking back on it, I think the hubs and I would both agree that the day existed outside of normal, linear time.  During each contraction I had my eyes closed << in anticipating labor, I thought I would want to focus on something visually, but not so much when it was go time >>, and at first they came not too hard and about 5 minutes apart. Of course they ramped up in frequency and duration as the pitocin continued to drip.  I would do a variety of things to get through each contraction: focused breathing, walking, moving around on the exercise ball, listening to the music playing, talking and laughing.  Sometimes the midwife and the nurse would offer counter pressure on the back of my hips which provided great relief, even though I didn't have back labor << thank God! >>.

So I labor, and labor, and labor some more.  Periodic checks indicate slow but fairly steady progress, and shortly after lunchtime we agreed to have my water broken.  Around mid-afternoon I had some significant nausea and even threw up a couple of times.  For a while I labored in an over-sized bathtub which was glorious. As we got further into the evening, I was showing all the signs and symptoms of a woman close to delivery.

A check at 9:15 pm indicated I was dilated to just 6 cm, and baby still hadn't descended all the way into the birth canal.  By this point I'd been laboring for 14 hours straight, and get this: I fell asleep for 15 minutes.  Fifteen minutes! The contractions didn't slow down or stop during that time- my exhaustion masked the pain in order for my body to rest... remember how I said insomnia hit hard at the end of my pregnancy?  I was in labor after 2 nights in a row of just 3 hours of sleep... I'm still amazed thinking back that I slept through 6 or 7 hard contractions.

A little while later Dr. Midwife comes in and talks to us about the sitch.  Despite hard contractions that were no more than 1 minute apart, baby wasn't making his way down << oh wait... let me guess.... could it be because he's a stubborn little fellow who likes to do things on his terms and in his time? >> .  Effectively, labor stalled and baby said, "I'm not budging."

One option was to increase the pitocin and monitor the contractions from the inside to keep a closer eye on progress and on the baby; however, because the baby hadn't descended into the canal enough, it wasn't definite whether or not this intervention would ultimately lead to a natural childbirth.  The other option was a C-Section.

If you'd asked me before I was in labor how I felt about the possibility of having my baby surgically removed from my body, you would have gotten an ear full.

After experiencing 15 1/2 hours of labor after a week and a half of trying every possible natural labor inducer, the hubs and I had total conviction that we had tried absolutely everything to get the baby out naturally. In that moment, we were both filled with peace that God had other plans, despite the plans that we had made.

In the end, little dude ignored his Final Eviction Notice and the officials had to go in and force him out, belongings and all.  At 10:35 pm we agreed to a c-section, and baby boy arrived at 10:54 pm.

Get this: in the OR, doc delivers our son and he hands the "scissors" to David to cut the umbilical cord.  Afterwards the nurses were like, "Oh my gosh, Dads never get to cut the cord in the OR!"  That's just one example of how blessed we were through the whole process- our OBGYN broke all the rules to follow our birth plan as closely as he could.

Now let me just say that when I laid eyes on our boy, I blubbered like a baby << just not like a newborn baby- did you know newborns don't cry actual tears? >>.  All of the effort, the emotion, the excitement- all of it brought me to this glorious moment when I fell in love all over again and for the first time ever, and new heart and brain matter began to form that just didn't exist before my son.

When we're coming out of the OR, I couldn't take my eyes off of our son, wrapped snugly in my arms.  I do recall hearing our dear friend's 4 year old son say to his papa, "Look! They found Joaquin!"

Baby Came In a Hospital, Part 1

In the last post  I shared what I went through the week or so before our little dude arrived as we tried everything under the sun to provoke labor in order to deliver at the birthing center.

Nothing worked. When 41 weeks came and went, we were instructed by the birthing center to go to the hospital to be induced.

Here's a joke for you:
What's the quickest way to make God laugh? ...........................
.................................................................................................................................................................. Make your own plans!

The day before induction day, we went to the hospital for a tour and brief orientation so that we'd know where to go and what to do at 5 am the next day.  So we're standing at the reception desk downstairs, and there are 3 women waiting for the elevator... it just so happens that 1 woman is the chair of the Board of Directors at the birthing center, the 2nd woman is a midwife who works at the birthing center, and the 3rd woman is a midwife interviewing for a job at the birthing center.  This was surprisingly comforting in light of our hearts desire to deliver at the birthing center and our deep disappointment with the news that under no uncertain circumstances we would be delivering at the hospital.

Did I mention that first woman, the chair of the Board, is the wife of the doctor who would attend our birth? He has a real name, but his nickname is Dr. Midwife. It's rumored that the guy keeps an inflatable tub in his vehicle in case a patient wants a water birth. It also just so happens that he delivered my cousin and my step-brother.  You know how I said at the end of the last post that God showed up? I'm just sayin'...

These 3 women were like mother birds taking us- 2 scared little baby birds- under their wings and upstairs for a tour. They were encouraging, they were supportive, and they set us up with a nurse who was able to take us around and show us what we could expect the next day.

Let me clarify something.  We're not anti-hospital, and we don't oppose medicine or medical practice.  Simply put, we wanted the most natural childbirth experience possible, and we believed that we'd achieve that without a lot of extra effort by delivering our son at the birthing center << example: 90% of women who deliver a baby in the hospital ask for an epidural... call me crazy, but I didn't want one- didn't even want to be offered one >>.

So the long and short of it is, after months and months of planning, hoping, wishing, and praying for a natural delivery at the crunchy granola birthing center up the road from our house, we were destined to deliver baby in the hospital.

That night I think I slept about 3 hours, which was the same amount of sleep I'd had the previous night.  Insomnia hit me hard at the end of the pregnancy.  Let me just go ahead and put it out there now, folks, they call it labor for a reason- it's HARD WORK. Even harder to do with not a lot of gas in the tank.

Again, folks, favorite joke of all time: quickest way to make God laugh is to make your own plans...  Read on for delivery day details!

Leading up to Baby's Arrival

I really wanted to name this post, "How to Evict a Full-Term Baby from Hotel Uterus," but as you'll discover if you read on, nothing we tried actually worked.

Our son had ZERO intentions of coming on his own anytime around his due date.  Due to my << fluke >> diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes, our care providers were unable to allow us to deliver at the birthing center after 41 weeks. Typically they can deliver a baby anytime between 37 and 42 weeks, but the GD diagnosis shaved off one of those weeks, so when we hit 40 weeks we knew we had to pull out all the stops to get this kid to MOVE IT ON OUT.

Following is a summary of our efforts, which were many and extensive.

08/24 - 40 weeks, 3 days Wednesday's appointment involved an exam where it was discovered I had a "dimple" of dilation << that's nowhere near 1 cm >>. Dr's orders were to go home and have sex.

Giggle, giggle

08/25 - 40 weeks, 4 days Thursday's appointment involved an ultrasound to check and measure baby, followed by another exam. At that point I was dilated to 1 cm, and the midwife agreed we'd try a foley bulb catheter.  Basically, the cath goes in past the cervix and is then filled with saline, creating a balloon inside the uterus that stretches the cervix open to a few centimeters before it falls out naturally.  They "installed" the deal-e-yo and I was sent home with cramps and a tube taped to my thigh (the tube hanging down was by far the worst part of it).

That night I went with my sister to get a pedicure, which has a reputation for putting women into labor.

I also ate a boatload of the green salsa from Chez Guevara, which has a reputation for putting women into labor.

08/26 - 40 weeks, 5 days On Friday morning, the cath fell out and it was sweet glorious relief!  The thing itself didn't hurt- it was just uncomfortable having a tube hanging down, taped to my leg. What followed were cramps and Braxton-Hicks contractions, but still no active labor.

08/27 - 40 weeks, 6 days Saturday we went to the clinic at 1 pm to have a procedure known as "sweeping the membranes" done. It was quick, but I can't say it was painless. It was tolerable, barely. Dr's orders were to go home and have sex.

Giggle, giggle

08/28 - 40 weeks, 7 days Sunday began with 2 oz. of Castor Oil mixed with 2 oz. of G2 at about 7 am. My instructions were to repeat the dosage if there was no action 2 hours later.  About 90 minutes in I was headed for the throne.  One dose was plenty for me.  There are horror stories all over about Castor Oil, and most OBGYN's will tell you it's of the devil, it's useless, it's an old-wives tale, etc.

I decided early on, in light of my desire to give birth at the clinic and not in the hospital, that I'd have an open mind about trying everything out there to encourage labor to start naturally.

It wasn't SO bad. The worst part was having a raw butt hole. I can say that, right? It's like anytime you have diarrhea- and let's face it, we've all eaten something at some point in our lives that gave us Montezuma's revenge where we've spent more time in the bathroom than out.  No matter how soft the TP, rubbing it on your bum so frequently in such a short time span will leave any a-hole tender and raw.  After all the poopin' I had consistent and hard Braxton Hicks contractions and cramping.

41 Weeks

08/29 - 41 weeks, 1 days Monday morning arrived and, surprise (!!):  still no labor. After another physical exam I was 3 cm dilated.  Dr's orders were to arrive at St Mary's in the morning to be induced.

This did not provoke a "giggle giggle" from either of us.

** After 9 months of anticipating labor and delivery, in my mind this was the worst-case-scenario-train pulling into the station, and I had a one-way ticket and no choice but to get on board. **

I pretty much fell apart at this point.  I felt sad, disappointed, afraid, frustrated, angry, unsure -and probably a few other feelings too- I hit a low point. I just about cried my eyes out.

Later that afternoon we went to St Mary's to have a tour and get an idea of what we could expect the next morning.  I was moderately composed by the time we arrived to the hospital.

And lo and behold, God showed up. Check out the next post for details on our delivery!

The BREAST: to feed or not to feed?

"Maternity"
by Pablo Picasso

Let's talk boobies.  I've been intrigued by everyone's comments throughout pregnancy when it comes to the question, "Are you planning to breastfeed?" << I've long-since learned to keep my face neutral- as much as I'm able- and listen with open eyes, ears, and mind >>

There are extreme opinions on the matter, of course, but for the most part folks here in the southeast (and many of my friends who live all over) are proponents of The Boob.  I've heard stories of women who breastfeed in public and are subsequently judged harshly by receiving unwarranted "looks," unsolicited comments, or unfriendly snap judgments.  I've read articles and stories about women being denied services in public b/c of breast exposure all in the name of feeding their baby.

To be clear, YES, I plan to breastfeed.  Let me share a few reasons why.

Mobility.
With a spare diaper, baby and I can go ANYWHERE. Anytime.

Bonding.
What better, sweeter way to spend quality time with baby? 

• Skin to skin contact
• Eye contact 
• The act of giving and receiving

Health (mommy)
I understand that breastfeeding can prevent some types of cancer later in life.  I also understand that breastfeeding is a great way to jump start a woman's return to her pre-pregnancy weight.

Health (baby)
In the amazing, miraculous way that women are made to grow babies, the miracle continues when the milk comes in.  Every woman's "breast milk cocktail" is nutrient-rich milk with *exactly* what baby needs, especially for their sweet little immune systems.

... prevents obesity...  On the news recently it was announced that the CDC has set up "The Baby- Friendly Hospital Initiative" after determining that most hospitals do not support breastfeeding << as an aside, in our breastfeeding class the instructor told us that the number one reason women have trouble and give up with breastfeeding is when the pediatrician suggests too quickly that baby isn't "growing fast enough" or isn't "getting enough to eat" >>.  Here's an excerpt from the CDC website, with the link to the page here.

Childhood obesity is an epidemic. In the US, 1 preschooler in 5 is at least overweight, and half of these are obese. Breastfeeding helps protect against childhood obesity. A baby's risk of becoming an overweight child goes down with each month of breastfeeding. In the US, most babies start breastfeeding, but within the first week, half have already been given formula, and by 9 months, only 31% of babies are breastfeeding at all.

One thing I don't think is mentioned in the study (and that was shared with us by a lactation consultant) is that by breastfeeding, baby learns portion control. Think about it.  When baby's done with the boob, baby detaches.  When Mom and Dad spent $24 on a can of formula and make a bottle with it, by golly that baby is not going to waste any of the expensive formula.

I mentioned in the last post why I'm so excited about delivering our baby here, and I left out the part about their lactation support. It's amazing! They have a separate phone number to call to speak with a lactation consultant. They won't let you leave the clinic postpartum until they're sure you and baby have figured out "the latch." They even come to your home the day after birth to check on mommy and baby.  It's an extraordinarily supportive environment, and I'm so thankful to have landed there.

Oh, and for any of  you that feel all squirmy at the idea of actually *seeing* a baby feed from the boob, early on I ordered what's call an Udder Cover.  For real.  Couldn't have made up the name if I'd tried.

Anticipating Childbirth

Somewhat recently the hubs and I watched this documentary, and we both found it to be eye-opening << although we did watch it with a grain of salt >>.  Anytime you watch or are given anything that is one-sided, it's essential to have your eyes, ears, and mind wide open. I'm just sayin'.

As a result of the experience of the past 9 months of my life, I've come to believe a few very important things:  

Pregnancy is neither a disease nor a disability.

Rarely should labor and delivery require the expertise of a trained surgeon.

A woman's body will *almost never* grow a baby that is too big for her to birth.

Since we're planning to deliver our son at a local women's clinic where we'll be attended by nurses and midwives, I'm excited about all sorts of things that I'll get to do that are not permitted at most hospitals.  For example...

Eating!
I've got a list of  foods that I can bring for me to eat, including popsicles, soup, and frozen yogurt.  Think about it like this: when I go on a 4 hour bike ride, I eat during the ride... power bars, high-protein snacks, etc.  When you're doing prolonged cardiovascular activity, like taking a day-long hike, it makes sense that you'd have to fuel your body, right?  And how long does a typical first time mom labor?  HOURS.  Like, between eight and twelve I think.  Most hospitals allow laboring women to "eat" ice chips and have an IV pump in some sugar water to avoid dehydration.  Not at the clinic! I can actually eat if I want to.  Of course I may not want to- what do I know?

Music! 
I've got a playlist on my MP3 player cleverly titled, "Labor and Delivery."  Artists on the list include Jason Mraz, Sarah McLachlan, Dave Matthews, Jack Johnson, Tori Amos, John Mayer, and Adele.  All of the songs are ones that I can sing along to (which relaxes me and is often entertaining for others), but they're not so fast-paced that I'll get amped up and ready to run a 5K.  Plus, most of this music is what I grew up to, and I'm stoked to have a soundtrack that keeps on growing in meaning and value.  For the record, some hospitals might allow you to bring your own music- again, what do I know?

Skin to skin for the 1st hour!
The staff at the clinic try as much as possible to keep baby with mommy during the first hour of life. There's no whisking away of baby for scrubbing, prodding, weighing, poking, measuring, etc. All of those things will take place; however, in all of our earthiness- rooted in the most beautiful and vulnerable of human miracles- we get to revel in the magical experience that is *new life* without being rushed past it.

Going home quick!
The typical postpartum stay at this clinic is a whopping 6 hours.  Six hours!  Typically at the hospital it's at least 24 hours, right? Longer if you've had a C-section.  Come to find out, hospitals keep moms and babies in the brig as long as they do more for the mom than for the baby to make sure that mom's body is working properly << read: she can pee and poop on her own >> after the medical intervention(s) she's had- epidural, episiotomy, c-section, etc.

Let me address a couple things that some of you may be thinking.

What about the pain?
I can't tell you how many women have looked me straight in the eye << obviously before asking where I'm planning to give birth >> and pleaded, "Take The Epidural!"  I typically will inform them that I do not plan to use any medication for the birth process, at which point I'm given "the look."  It's as if they want to say, "Hello... what's wrong with you? Why would you ever consider suffering through all that pain?"  Typically they bite their tongues and don't actually say it out loud; however, every now and then a brazen acquaintance will have their filter turned off and actually blurt it out.  It doesn't bother me!  We're all entitled to approach every aspect of our lives according to what works for us.  Numbing the pain of labor simply isn't my prerogative. I totally, absolutely, 100% respect every woman's choice when it comes to her L & D. 

Here's a little bit of insight into my stance on pain management: my mom and my husband's mom both pushed out 3 big babies naturally and without medical intervention of any kind (his mom at home and my mom in the hospital).  If you ask either of them to tell you about the most painful experience in their lives, neither of them will mention childbirth.  We come from tough stock, and I've been told I have a tendency of being both strong and stubborn.  I'm physically healthy, and I think I'm good at focusing my mind on the end goal.  Besides, the pain of childbirth is finite- it won't last forever.  I've never been afraid to work hard for something that I'm passionate about.

What if something goes wrong?
The clinic has a transfer hospital that is less than 5 minutes away, and they only work with low-risk preggo's who deliver between 37 and 41 weeks.  They also have warmers and resuscitation equipment if it's needed.